“Just a quick programming note, a reminder: Sunday is Mother’s Day. You can see the impression for yourself in the video up top. and Eric, trying to help out Republicans in the midterm elections this year. That impression came up because Colbert was discussing the prospect of the Trump sons, Donald Jr. But Colbert delivered despite the relative mundanity, bringing out an Eric Trump impersonation that will blow your mind when you see it. And yet also hopeful and optimistic.Īs always, The Hub welcomes you to share your thoughts with us.By the standards of this exceptionally tumultuous week for the government and President Donald Trump in particular, the material Stephen Colbert had to work with for his monologue on “The Late Show” Friday night was pretty chill. This is a story about freedom of expression. Stephen: Now this is the story of a man named Maziar Bahari. Jon: A gentleman greeted me, he put this on and said, “You are free to part whatever waters you want.” Stephen: Run down the big news, “here’s your dime bag” and out you go. I come down the chimney of the liberal dorm room. I go into the dorm rooms and I will give them generally – usually – a synopsis. And by the way, those who don’t get their news from me – from the show – I will go to their dorm rooms. Stephen: Now, as a liberal lion, Jon – as the voice of the left – you know more young people get their news from you. Behind closed doors I only quote Rabbinical text. Jon: I’m going to say something to you and you know this. How many writers do you have, Jon? 50? How many writers? I remember things you said behind closed doors and tonight I can reveal that for (the first time in) 15 years I used to be over there with your writers and their opium bongs. Stephen: I used to be inside the belly of the beast. My guest is the host of the liberal elitist Daily Show and the executive producer of the Emmy Award winning Colbert Report. And then we spent the next five centuries carrying out a brutal campaign … Do you know what? Let’s say the Muslims were here first. Christians, I was taught, landed on these pristine shores and were welcomed by the Native People.It saddens me some people want to change the beautiful story of America’s discovery.Threat #1: Muslim Invaders Of The New World! However 314 years before Columbus in 1178, Muslim sailors reached the American continent. Recep Tayyip Erdogan: “The American continent is said to have been discovered by Columbus in 1492. Over the past weekend I heard a frightening claim from Turkish President and Elvish greeting, Recep Tayyip Erdogan. It’s about it not going to Matthew McConaughey. This isn’t about the title going to Chris Hemsworth.You can’t see their abs because of the pouch they have in front. First of all, an Australian? There’s nothing sexy about the Aussies.Threat #3: America’s Declining Standards of Sexiness Chris Hemsworth? How is he the Sexiest Man Alive?.He was known to movie fans as the hammer wielding superhero, Thor.” “ People Magazine has named it’s Sexiest Man Alive for 2014 and the honor goes to Australian actor, Chris Hemsworth. This year People Magazine has sullied it’s reputation as the preeminent supermarket impulse buy.That’s why my favorite magazine is People and each year it shoulders the monumental burden of determining the “Sexiest Man Alive.” It’s a delicate formula that takes into account jawline ruggedness, ab pack quantity – minimum of 6 – and most importantly, aliveness. First up, long time viewers of The Report know that I am a person.So whatever you do, don’t watch this twice. Nation, I’m about to scare you half to death.ThreatDown – Declining Standards of Sexiness, People Who Eat Chocolate & Invaders of the New World If Obama does not deport the people already here I can only imagine how violent the American people will be when they wake up to see how same things are.Sean Hannity: “The Emperor in Chief of the United States is going to declare war on the US Constitution.” But apparently Obama has just given himself a promotion. I mean, what happened to checks and balances, Sir? There’s supposed to be three branches of government: Executive, judicial and spiteful inertia.Folks, my great great grandfather did not come here from Ireland to see this country overrun by immigrants.He had to give them executive amnesty! They get their own wash room, free wifi and hot towels!.Oh, regular amnesty isn’t good enough for Barack’s amigos, his muchachos, his compadres?! No!.Several news clips are shown with pundits and politicians talking about President Obama’s “Executive Amnesty” for immigrants. But I do know there’s only one way to describe it. We are taping our show at 7:30, so I don’t know one word of what he’s going to say. Folks, the President’s speech is at 8:00 tonight.
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